I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Panties = found
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