i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
