On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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