Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
