The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
