no, he came in my armpit
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
