Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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