the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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