If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just high enough for therapy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize