Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
