I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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