FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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