he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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