My Higher Power is John Stamos
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
only if we run a train.
done.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I just put wine in my tea
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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