Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
