You're completely useless in the revolution.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
