i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
