do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
