Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
