it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
