hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
