A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
