dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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