Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
