dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
