Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
