Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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