From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
