I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
