I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
