Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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