in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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