i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
