I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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