he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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