What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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