ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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