Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
