Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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