I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
