if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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