Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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