and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
