Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
