I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
