found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
