he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
