Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
