just tell him i said nine months
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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