the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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