I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
