It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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