My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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