she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i believe in u and ur pee
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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