Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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