did you get engaged???
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Princesses don't give blow jobs
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
is that a dick in a sweater?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
