Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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