I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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