just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
