So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
