you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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