their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
