that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
