More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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